Greater Than Business Podcast – Episode 024

 

This is episode 24 of the Greater Than Business Podcast. And today we are going to be talking all about why I deleted my personal Facebook account. So back when I first started, back in 20 end of 2014, early 2015, I decided that I wanted to run my business anonymously so that I wouldn't have to face a whole lot of judgment from friends, family, strangers, I felt like a lot of people wouldn't understand the online world and what I was dipping my toes into just seemed very foreign and I didn't want to have to explain this to friends and family and I knew that where I was in my life, I didn't have the ability to deal with that judgment and I needed the ability to be able to, I don't really know how to word it, but I just needed that freedom and the anonymous Snus of the online world.

So what I did was I actually split my Facebook accounts. So the account that I currently use was my first ever Facebook account that I got way back. And funny story. The only reason that I signed up for Facebook back in 2006 always because it was the only way that I could get a hold of a friend of mine and I needed to contact him ASAP so I knew he had Facebook so I did not ever want to join Facebook and reluctantly I signed up in order to, I think sent him a message or I think back then maybe he could only write on his wall, but either way I messaged him, he was my only friend and fast forward he's now my husband. So a little side note there. It's kind of comical how things work out, but I needed to get ahold of him and join Facebook because of it.

And then ever since I've had this Facebook account and I didn't really like it at the beginning and then decided that I did like it. And then we actually took a bit of time off of Facebook after our son was born and all the complications happened. We didn't want our actual thoughts at the heat of the moment when everything was going down, being documented forever because we were definitely thinkings. I'm very not so good things at certain points during that journey. So we definitely took some time off of Facebook then and then eventually Facebook kind of became the thing that it is now, which led me to, it basically introduced me to the online world. So in the grand scheme of things, Facebook has really, really helped me to change my life, changed the trajectory of my life as well as my business. And I honestly don't think I would have ever stepped out into the online world without Facebook introducing me to this whole kind of subset culture type thing.

So basically when I first started, I decided I didn't want my family members who was primarily my friends on Facebook and random people from high school. Because back then it just seemed like anyone that you ever came in contact with, you friended on Facebook. I don't know why, but it was just kind of the thing that you did. So I would periodically purge my friends list and just kind of get rid of people and wonder like why did we, where did we even meet? I don't remember. So anyways, deleted those people. And then I decided that what I was going to do with my original Facebook account was switched that to business. So I unfriended all of my friends that were actual friends and family and I started a new Facebook account. So I did that back in 20 Oh, I can't even remember when I did it, but it was, it wasn't right at the moment when I started my business.

It was shortly thereafter. So let's say like late 2015 early 2016 and the reason why I divided it and decided to start a new account for just friends and family was because I didn't want them to see promotional posts. I didn't want them to see salesy things. I didn't want them to see some of the groups that I was a part of. And I don't know why. I think it honestly goes back to scarcity. I think that I thought that if I talked openly about running an online business that better smarter people were going to come through and start their own business and basically put me out of business. So back then I didn't quite understand how the online world worked. I didn't understand why we all do what we do. I didn't understand the vastness of the internet. Like I am friends with people online from all over the world.

Like I think, I almost think I've, I've touched every continent for sure. Not every country cause that's crazy, but I'm definitely quite like it's, it's amazing how many people I've been able to connect with from all over the world and it's been such a great journey, but I really didn't want to be threatened at the beginning of my business. So long story short, I basically decided to separate everything. So I had a personal Facebook account and I had a business Facebook account. So running my business for the past four years online, there's been a lot of learning curves and running two Facebook accounts. Like honestly having Facebook in the first place can be exhausting. There is so many people out there, there's so much happening in your timeline. They changed the algorithm I think more than people sneeze. Like it is insane. All the changes that happen with Facebook.

And I started realizing that because I was only using Facebook to kind of check my newsfeed for my friends and family and I was using it to kind of see what they were up to in their life. I found that I knew everything about people, but I never actually spoke to those people. So I guess it kind of felt lonely and really isolating. And if you listened back, let me just check my notes here. If you listen back to episode five of the Greater Than Business Podcast, I talked all about the time that I hit rock bottom and how I felt at that moment and why everything was just so overwhelming for me. And I felt very much alone at that point. And I think that honestly, Facebook had a lot to do with that because I know everything that was happening in my friends and family's lives, but I didn't know.

I didn't know how to reach out to them and actually have a conversation and as I grew and met other people through my business Facebook account, I started to see how absolutely lonely my personal account was and that I somehow managed to isolate myself when I kept a family and friends account so that I could still be in contact with people. However, I was basically kind of a creep, like I was basically just kind of watching what was going on with them, but never interacting, never saying anything, never actually having conversations because I already knew everything that needed to be known because I was just watching what they were posting and at that point, I realized that I needed more real relationships. I needed people that I could talk to, I needed people that I could actually have a conversation with because I wasn't having conversations.

I would meet people and see people and I'd already know all of their stories because they would post it. And I started feeling like, is that why I feel so lonely when I go and I meet people in person and we literally have nothing to talk about because they already know all of my business that I put up on Facebook. And I started to realize that that was really, really hurting me in the long run. So what I did is in April of this year, it might've been early, may, late April, not entirely sure, but I decided to get rid of my, Facebook account. So basically I just shut it down and said, Nope, no more. All done. I'm not playing this game anymore. I'm not partaking in it. I don't want to manage two Facebook accounts. And the reason why I decided to delete my personal one versus my business one is that I'm still running a business and I view Facebook as a place where I go to do business.

But I don't go there to have deep, meaningful conversations and build relationships. But the funniest thing is, is that I actually have done that by trying not to, but the people that I know personally on my personal account, those were the people that I was actually losing relationships with. I was becoming friends with people in Australia. I was becoming friends with people in the UK and I was having real conversations with these people, but yet I would show up in-person to a school function and I wouldn't have a word to say to any of the people there because I already knew everything and they already knew everything about me. So it was a really isolating thing to show up to events and just not be able to see or I guess build any sort of meaningful relationship with anybody. So it was super frustrating and I basically decided that no, I want to have the ability to actually have conversations.

And so I deleted it. I basically deleted my Facebook account and then it was kind of funny that I've added a couple of people that are close to me, family-wise to my actual Facebook account. Now my only one that I have just for business and I don't feel scared or judged or feel like I need to hide something. And because of that, I actually started this podcast. I share very openly all of the things that happen in my day to day life. I share feelings and thoughts that I probably wouldn't have ever shared online. I feel like I have become more real, more authentic. I'm actually having conversations that are tough. I've got a lot of episodes coming up that I haven't quite broken down yet, but I know that they're going to be very real and raw conversations with myself talking to you guys, but basically a one-sided conversation. But things like this, I'm just, I'm, I'm really valuing this connection more. I feel like, okay, putting it out on Facebook is also a very one-sided conversation. But having that comment section underneath really can be more vulnerable than me sharing something that is really, really hard to speak about here. And having strangers possibly judge me is a lot easier than having my closest friends and family comment and judge. And I'm not saying that they would, but there's always that one person that throws something out there and you just don't know how to take it. I've had this happen in business as well, but, I just felt like after the huge breakdown meltdown, I don't know what you'd call it, that I had way back that I talk about in episode five. After that, I just kind of realized that I need to protect myself because I do get swayed a lot by judgment, even if it is not, coming from a place or a person that should really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Not that people don't matter, but it's, it comes from someone that doesn't even know me or know what I'm all about. They just see one little tiny snippet and go, Oh yeah, she's horrible. And things like that. We're really, really starting to get to me. So I decided to delete my personal Facebook account, which is the worst thing that could possibly you could ever do in some guru's minds. But I did it and I have felt so much happier since then. Other than the fact that I got a lot of messages from people thinking that they had done something wrong and that I had blocked them on Facebook or unfriended them, which I found kind of comical because apparently if you don't have Facebook and you're not friends with someone, then you must have done something wrong. And that right there was enough to reiterate the reason why I got rid of it.

Because if you were a true and real friend, you would have reached out and found a way to talk to me like they did and you wouldn't, you would have known that it wasn't malicious. I don't. Basically, the only time I ever unfriend people on Facebook is if I just don't feel like we need to be in constant contact. And obviously that changes throughout your life cycle. There are people that come and go and all that stuff, but I just, I decided that I didn't want to have that ability for strangers to feel like they knew me unless it is in a business sense. So I decided one Facebook account, if my friends and family want to get in touch with me, they have my phone number. If they want to look at pictures of my kids, I have them up on Instagram. Basically it's made my life so much better by deleting that and streamlining my business.

That's another thing. So feeling like posting on social media can be a daunting task as it is. And I know for me, I struggle with it. I forget all the damn time to post on Facebook and it doesn't mean that I'm not there. It doesn't mean that I'm not watching and partaking in the things that happen on Facebook. It's just that I sometimes just don't have the time to post a picture of my salad in the morning or I don't know who eats salad in the morning, but my salad for lunch or I don't really want to get into a political conversation on Facebook. And I don't want to get into the high and mighty Wars that happen on Facebook between whatever opinion person a has and person B has. And I might have a different opinion. And I just don't want to get involved in that.

I find that some of the conversations on Facebook are incredibly toxic and I realized that if I can keep my business feed as high vibing as it is and amazing as it is, I don't need the negative stuff that was showing up on my personal account and the negative stuff isn't from bad people that I'm friends with or associated with. It's just a lot of pity parties and poor me and Whoa. Okay. This is a bit of a side note here, but the advertisements on Facebook word starting to drive me nuts. I was getting so many, I was pixeled by so many different random little pop-up companies and they're those little ones that would offer you like, I don't know, a dollar iPhone cable or something like that. And then you'd go and you click on it and you'd order it and then in like nine weeks, you might possibly get it.

Like, you know which companies, I mean I think they're drop shipping, but I'm not entirely sure. But either way, those companies that kept popping up were driving me insane. On my personal account and I couldn't understand why every time I turned around there seemed to be like scam companies and scam posts and then I just decided, okay, I'm, I'm done. I don't need to see this on two different platforms. I will just see it on one and it's funny now my Instagram account is now turning into that. So way-to-go Facebook, you screwed up Instagram, but that's, that's a conversation for another day. So anyway, I just wanted to kind of give you some insight into my view on my Facebook account, why I decided to separate my personal account from my business account and why. Ultimately after years, I decided that I don't need to connect with people on Facebook at a personal level.

I do what I do for business and I love doing it for business, but I don't need to for personal, I would much rather have real and raw conversations in person versus through text or through random one-sided posts. I don't want to view pity posts and I want to view exciting things and big wins and business talk and all of that stuff that just lights me up. I want to see more of it. And unfortunately, my personal Facebook account was just not a place where I was getting that. So I decided to use my time on social media to be, promoting my business and doing business things and getting converse in amazing conversations with other business owners. And that just wasn't something that was happening for me on a personal level, on my personal account. So I got rid of it and it has been the greatest feeling ever.

I have to admit, I kind of went through a bit of a detox at the beginning where I would pick up my phone and remember that I didn't have Facebook on it anymore and slightly freak out. And there was probably a handful of times where I wanted to reactivate, but I am happy to let you know that I have not yet reactivated my account. I have been toying with the idea of reactivating it solely for the purpose of just to basically post a boast that says I no longer am using this account. And basically just kind of leaving it up and saying like, Hey, come follow me on Instagram if you'd actually like to see stuff. But I haven't done that yet because I'm still holding strong that I have not reactivated my account yet. So the other thing that kind of makes me sad about it all, this is another bit of a side note.

I was going to wrap up the here, but I just wanted to kind of say one other thing is when I deactivated my account and all of a sudden then it switched my husband to just being married instead of married to, and immediately people started assuming that there was meritable Mary Mer, Oh, I can't say that word. There were problems in our marriage and that we must be getting separated or we must be doing this and that. Right. There was another reason why it reiterated the fact of exactly why I got rid of my personal Facebook account. Because, yeah, if people would rather make assumptions and do all of that crazy stuff rather than just message me and say, Hey, is something going on then yeah, I don't want to be friends with you on Facebook anyway, so that was a bit of a side note.

So if you are thinking about getting rid of your personal account, first off, let your husband know you did it. He got some weird messages. So I just want to make sure that I, I kind of filled you in on that little funny side of it so we're still happily married. Just because Facebook doesn't say we're married doesn't mean that we're not, we're cool, everything's good. But yeah, there was, there was that wonderful little tidbit that happened. So anyway, I'm going to wrap up this episode. Thank you for tuning into episode 24 I can't believe we're already here. As always, if you want to get in touch with me you can shoot me an email flow@flowautomationinc.com and I will be back next week with a really interesting episode. I am going to be talking all about how to view your competitors in your market. So it's going to be pretty fun. I'm not going to lie. I'm excited about it. So I hope to see you next week. And until then, I hope you have a great time building your business, living your life, and doing all of the fun stuff that you should be doing.

Greater Than Business Podcast – Episode 024

 

 

For the full podcast and show notes, please go to www.GreaterThanBuisness.com/024

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